Interruption
by sosmitten
Summary: Yet another take on the end of Raincoats and Recipes, but this time it's Jason who interrupts Luke and Lorelai's first kiss. COMPLETE STORY.
1. Accusation

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** I know that there are many wonderful follow-ups to Raincoats and Recipes, but I haven't seen a variant where Jason is the one who interrupts Luke and Lorelai's kiss. I mean, he couldn't have been in the bathroom all night. I am trying to stay as close as possible to the events as they happened in Raincoats and Recipes and Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller. I am posting two chapters now out of what will be a six-part story. It is pretty well sketched out, so hopefully I'll be able to post new chapters quickly.

**

* * *

Accusation**

"What the hell are you doing kissing him?"

Lorelai jumped and pulled away from Luke, "Jason, god! What business is it of yours? We broke up! What don't you understand about that?"

"Well, now I understand why you really broke up with me. And to think that I actually thought you were motivated by family loyalty. How long has this been going on? What is going on?"

Lorelai was uncharacteristically speechless, knowing that was the one question she couldn't answer. The last few minutes had turned her relationship with Luke upside down and she doesn't know where they stand. She has been gradually realizing the extent of her feelings for him ever since his sister's wedding and he obviously has feelings for her, but she can't put it all together in a logical answer to the question, "What is going on?" Lorelai looked at Luke briefly, in the hopes that she would find the answer to Jason's question on his face, but all she saw was anger and hurt. She thought he might be hurt that she doesn't have an answer for Jason, but how could she possibly put the right words together to tell her ex-boyfriend _(emphasis on the ex)_ what was going on with her best friend who she just kissed for the first time 30 seconds earlier?

Jason interpreted her silence and glance at Luke as an admission of guilt and continued to rail against her, "And to think that I felt badly about suing your father and being the reason for ending this, but I never meant anything at all to you, did I? The lawsuit was just a convenient excuse."

"That's not true. It _was_ about the lawsuit."

I'm sorry Lorelai, I'm just not buying it anymore. You never took us seriously. You never wanted to tell your parents. I was falling in love with you and you just wanted a warm body in your bed, preferably one that would piss off your mother."

This last statement stunned Luke out of his shock and he came to Lorelai's defense angrily, "Who the hell do you think you are to make that kind of accusation? I think she pretty clearly explained the status of your relationship. Just give it up and go home," he said as he moved threateningly toward Jason.

Lorelai held his arm to stop him, "Luke, don't."

"I can't let him talk to you like that."

"Are you sure that it's not that you don't want to know the truth? That you're just the latest warm body to keep her amused until she finds someone more interesting? Just don't get too attached. I don't think that she is capable of having a meaningful relationship. But if what you're looking for is a good roll in the hay, she's your gal. I have to say though, you're a step up in the pissing off Emily Gilmore department, what with the burger joint, flannel and the baseball cap."

Lorelai felt each of Jason's words as if it were a physical blow. "How dare you insult Luke?" she raged, feeling the situation getting more and more out of control, tears threatening to spill over her pale face.

"What, a little sensitive about slumming it with the local diner guy?"

Luke literally growled at Jason, but Lorelai held him back. "I'm not-,"she started but stopped knowing she couldn't deny her relationship with Luke, but still unable to put words to it. She couldn't look him in the eye, knowing that she would see that same anger and hurt she had seen earlier. Since she wasn't looking she couldn't see that his anger was only at Jason and that he felt her pain just as acutely as she did. "I am not having this argument anymore. Jason, it's over. Get the hell off of my property. I don't ever want to see you again. Ever." The last word had a note of finality about it that took Jason by surprise and he realized he had gone too far.

"Lorelai wait, that all came out wrong. I just really care about you and I don't want us to be apart."

"Well you should have thought about that before tearing me apart and calling me a whore." At that word, the floodgates broke and tears poured down her face.

"Lorelai, I didn't - "

"Well, you might as well have, "her voice was ragged and pained through the sobs, as she turned and ran into the inn. She heard footsteps behind her. "Jason, get away from me."

"It's me," Luke said softly.

Lorelai felt her breath catch. His voice was so gentle, but she couldn't face him.

Without turning around she said, "Luke, not right now," more harshly than she intended. "I need to go home. I think that Rory is there and I just need to be home right now."

"Let me drive you."

"No, I need to be alone. I'll see you tomorrow."

It was a dismissal, and it stung. She didn't want his help and he didn't know what that meant. In a matter of minutes he had gone from complete elation to a state of complete loss. He had no idea what had just happened, but somehow the words that idiot had spoken had damaged whatever fragile magic had been established when they had kissed.

_

* * *

Will you just stand still?_

That's what he had said right before kissing her. He hadn't planned it. He had been biding his time and going slowly, waiting for her feelings to catch up to his. But Jason showed up and made him question everything. He had been sure she was feeling it. She had been babbling even more than usual every time they were together and had suddenly turned clumsy. And there were the looks they had shared. There was definitely something there. Then this idiot had showed up and said they were together, and it pissed him off. After all this time he wasn't going to play games and he just couldn't keep waiting. So he confronted her and she said she _loved_ the flowers and said that there _was_ a moment. That's when he realized that something had shifted in their relationship. He had admitted what he was doing and instead of the usual banter and backing away, she had admitted a few small things of her own. So he had kissed her and she had let him. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. It was an indescribable feeling. Slowly her hand slipped down his shoulder and she stepped back, his hands still on her waist briefly, before they dropped to his side. It was her move now. He knew he had surprised her, so he waited, watching desperately for her reaction. His breathing was ragged while he waited, not moving a muscle.

She took a step toward him. _"What are you doing?"_

_Will you just stand still?_

It was his line right back at him. She lifted her eyes to his, reaching her hand up to hold his face and then she kissed him, very gently. Lorelai had kissed him and it was amazing. Emboldened by her gesture, Luke pulled her tightly to him while she wrapped her hands around him. They held the embrace for a moment before he slowly unwrapped his arm and Lorelai stepped away. They looked at each other, his fingers still on her waist, hers on his arms. It was as if she needed to get her bearings. The fact that she was still there gave him the confidence to pull her closer. She responded by reaching for him as well and he silently cheered. Luke did not remember ever feeling quite like this and it was wonderful.

And then the idiot appeared again and the moment was gone.

* * *

Luke headed back outside to get some air. He was shocked to see Jason still standing there. "Didn't you get the message, pal? She doesn't want you here. Go home and stay away from her." 

"Well, we're in the same boat then. It's looks like she doesn't want you around either."

"You know nothing about me or Lorelai."

"OK, so enlighten me. What's going on with you two?"

"That's between me and her. Now get away from her. Obviously she doesn't want to see you." Lukes voice was getting angrier with every word.

"Touchy. Hearing the truth must hurt."

"Nothing that you said here tonight had any relation to the truth and it's clear that you don't really know her at all," Luke said, slowly and firmly. "It makes me sick to think that you could come here and say what you did about someone you claim to be in love with. Now go, before I - "

"Before you what, beat the crap out of me? Is that how things get resolved on your side of the tracks?"

"Forget it, you're not even worth it," Luke replied as he turned to walk back into the inn. He heard Jason's receding footsteps. Then the footsteps stopped.

"Do you honestly think that you have a chance with her? You know her parents will never accept you. Do you really think that she would ever settle for what you have to offer her?"

Luke continued walking and tried to ignore those last questions, but he couldn't help wondering what the answers would turn out to be.


	2. Pain and Loneliness

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** This is chapter two of what will be a six-part story.

**

* * *

Pain and Loneliness**

Lorelai knew Luke would be hurt by her rejection of his offer or help, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Even though Jason's accusations were preposterous, she couldn't help but hear partial truths in some of the things that he said. _"I don't think that she is capable of having a meaningful relationship. But if what you're looking for is a good roll in the hay, she's your gal."_ The words rang in her head and she cringed when she thought about what Luke must think of her. She just needed to get away from here and go home. Hopefully Rory would be there and she could just cry. She wouldn't be able to tell much of what happened to Rory either, but it would be easier to be comforted by someone who hadn't just seen her ripped to shreds. She found her keys and slipped out the back door, hoping to escape without seeing anyone.

When she reached her car, Lorelai just sat there for several minutes, sobbing and wondering what had happened to make this night turn out so awful. One minute she had been sharing a spectacular (and yes it had been spectacular) kiss with Luke and the next minute her dignity had been spread out on the ground and stomped on repeatedly. Gradually the tears slowed and she turned on the car and headed home.

Once home, she was eager for the safety and comfort of her own space and a caring shoulder. She quickly got out of the car and ran into the house, calling "Rory? Are you here? Please Rory I need you? Are you here?" When she didn't get an immediate answer, she continued, "Please be here Rory. Mommy is having a crisis, please -"

"_Hey, what's going on?"_

"_Dean came over to borrow something."_

* * *

"_Hey. Let's just talk."_

"_No," Rory said as she got up and walked back into the house._

Lorelai heard Rory's door close and suddenly felt totally and completely alone. The house didn't feel comforting or safe anymore. Rory had said that she hated her. Rory had _never_ said that before, even in the height of her teenage years. That, in addition to Rory's remark about Christopher combined with Jason's accusations to paint a very ugly picture of her. She fell onto the couch, curled up and let the tears come again, gasping through her sobs.

Rory heard her mom sobbing from her room and was furious. What did she have to be sad about? It was Rory's night that had been ruined. Then just as suddenly, it came back to her, what her mom had been yelling as she came into the house. She had forgotten during the argument about Dean, but she had said something about a crisis. Her amazingly strong and independent mother had come running into the house pleading for her help from her daughter and now she was in the next room crying.

Rory came out of her room quietly and headed toward the living room. Her mom was lying on the couch crying uncontrollably. "Hey, you said something about a crisis. What's going on?"

"_What's going on?"_

There was that question again. The one that had caused so much confusion in her brain. The one that she had not been able to answer. She closed her eyes and cried even harder.

"Mom, what is it? Tell me what is wrong? Please?"

"Nothing, forget it. I need to get back to the inn anyway."

"Those were not nothing tears. You came home for a reason. Why won't you talk to me?"

"You just said you hated me. I'm not feeling much like sharing right now."

"Mom, I didn't mean -"

"Since when did you start saying things that you don't mean? I'm sorry, but you don't get to take them back that easily." Her tears had slowed as the pain was pushed away by anger and frustration. "I do need to get back to the inn. I'd like you to come with me. It should at least look like a normal night, even if it isn't. It should be safe to go back by now."

"What do you mean by that?" Rory asked, more and more perplexed about what could have happened to make her mother so upset, besides the obvious disappointment in her daughter.

"Never mind."

* * *

Lorelai drove back to the inn without speaking. She had to admit that the crying had helped. She just needed to get it out of her system, so that she could come back and be the happy innkeeper, at least until the guests left. Then she could deal with everything. There was so much that thinking about it was too overwhelming. Jason's rant and hurtful accusations, Rory's stupidity with Dean, and, oh yeah, she had kissed Luke. It was much easier to think about the practicalities of running the inn. 

Rory watched her mother in silence. It hurt that she wouldn't confide in her, though given the circumstances, it wasn't surprising. At least it was easier to think about how to help her mother than deal with her own actions. The magnitude of what she had done had not struck her until Lindsay had answered Dean's phone. It was too much to think about and so, like her mother, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind to be dealt with another time.

When they arrived at the inn, it was totally quiet and the only light was in the main entryway. Lorelai noticed with relief that Jason's car was gone. At least she didn't have to worry about him. She glanced at the window for room seven and was glad to see that the light was out. She just wanted to climb into bed and wake up in a different reality. She followed Rory up the stairs to their room. Rory entered the room and noticed a folded piece of Dragonfly stationary on the floor. She picked it up, saw _Lorelai _written on the outside, and passed it wordlessly to her mother. She watched her carefully as Lorelai read the note and sighed sadly. It almost looked like she was blinking back tears, but she remained stoic.

"Mom, what is it? Who's the note from?"

"It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it anymore." She tossed the note on the bed as she headed to the bathroom.

As the door shut and Rory heard the water begin running, she picked up the note and read:

_Lorelai,_

_I just wanted to make sure that you are OK._

_I am here for you no matter what._

_I would like to talk when you are ready._

_Luke_

A few minutes later, Lorelai came out of the bathroom, got dressed for bed, and got into bed. She was curled up and faced away from her, but Rory could swear that she saw tears glistening on her mother's cheeks.


	3. Friendship

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** This is chapter three of what will be a six-part story. I am hoping to be able to post more chapters tomorrow thanks to the blizzard and a shortened work week.

**

* * *

Friendship**

The next morning Lorelai threw herself into the work of the inn to try to escape the thoughts running through her mind. It took all her effort to put on a happy face. She was able to fool most of the guests as she wandered through the dining room during breakfast, but Luke could see through the veneer of cheerfulness and she wouldn't meet his eyes. Lorelai was purposely avoiding Sookie as well, knowing she would be able to tell that something was wrong. At least Sookie was swamped with breakfast preparations, so there weren't many opportunities for exchanges beyond, "We need more muffins," or "The pancakes are going like crazy!"

Rory was another story. The night's sleep, though not at all peaceful, had given Lorelai enough distance from her own situation to be able to begin to process what had happened with Rory and Dean. She couldn't remember Rory ever doing anything quite so stupid. It rivaled some of her own teenage behavior, which was a very disturbing thought. She was so torn between her disappointment in Rory's behavior and her desperate need to talk to someone. Rory was the only one she had confided in about Luke and given the current situation she wasn't inclined to include anyone else in the mess. Rory had tried this morning to talk to her, to ask how she was doing and press her for details about what had made her upset. Lorelai had told her she was fine, that she just needed to get to work. Rory had been cold after that, especially when Lorelai had asked how she was doing and if she wanted to talk about Dean. So things were at a stalemate, with both of them unwilling to let their guards down enough to let the other help them. Rory was afraid she deserved her mothers harsh judgment, and Lorelai was worried that there might be a ring of truth in what Jason had said.

It was close to the end of breakfast that Michel came to find her, saying something about a delivery that needed to be accepted by her and her only.

"Delivery, what delivery?"

"I do not know, but it is apparently too important for my little brain to comprehend."

"Fine. Okay," Lorelai said as she followed him to the lobby. She stopped when she saw a deliveryman holding a large flower arrangement.

Before she had a chance to wonder who they were from, the deliveryman said, "I have a delivery for Lorelai Gilmore from Jason Stiles."

Lorelai froze and the blood drained from her face. "Take. Them. Away," she said, each word firm and final.

"But, I have very specific instruc -"

"I don't care. I will not accept them. Leave now." The deliveryman heard the forcefulness in her tone and turned to leave. Lorelai turned and leaned on the front desk, breathing hard. She saw Michel looking at her with something almost like concern."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing, we just had a fight and I can't believe that he thinks flowers will fix it. I'm fine. I just need a minute."

"Okay," he answered, watching her as he headed toward the kitchen.

Lorelai looked up from where she was standing and noticed the flowers from Luke at the end of the desk. She leaned over and smelled them, a sad smile on her face. After a few seconds she lifted her head and saw Luke looking at her from across the room.

He managed to catch her eyes briefly, before she sighed and looked down.

He walked toward her as she said, "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough. He has some nerve." He looked at her and could tell that she was struggling to hold back tears. "Lorelai, can you look at me? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, no, not really fine, but I have guests and I need to be fine." She still wouldn't look at him, so afraid of what she would see in his eyes.

"Can we talk? It doesn't have to be now, and we don't have to do the movie tonight if you're not up to it, but I do want to talk to you."

She wondered if Luke really thought she wasn't up for the movie or if it was his way of easing himself out of the obligation. In all honesty, she probably wasn't up to it, but it hurt a bit that he had suggested canceling it first. "Luke, I don't know what to think now. I'm all mixed up and Rory and I had a huge fight when I went home last night and this…" she continued as she gestured around the inn. "I just can't think about any of it right now."

"What's going on with Rory? Did you tell her what happened?"

"I can't talk about it. Just suffice it to say that Rory and I aren't really communicating right now."

Luke could hear the pain in her voice and tried hard to imagine what they could possibly have fought about, that would have superceded Lorelai's need for Rory last night.

"Did you get my note?" She nodded and he continued, "I meant what I said. I am here for you no matter what. I have to go back to the diner now, but I wanted to tell you before I left, if you need _anything_, give me a call."

"Right now I just need to not think about this, so that I can run my inn."

"Okay, take care of yourself and really _anything_…"He looked at her for another moment before turning to pick up his bag and head for the door. He couldn't help but admire her strength, but part of him wished that she would just break down so that he could hold her in his arms and comfort her.

As he was about to step out of the door, he heard, "Luke?"

"Yeah?" he said as he turned.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Anytime."

She still wouldn't look at him.

* * *

Lorelai walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee. Now that breakfast was winding down, the guests were wandering the grounds, planning horseback rides and taking advantage of other amenities. Lorelai just needed to get away from all the activity for a few minutes. She had almost made it out of the kitchen on her way to hide in her office, when Sookie pulled her aside. 

"Lorelai, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because it's taking all your effort to hold that smile in place and I heard that you were really upset that Jason sent you flowers."

"Well, I broke up with him and he won't take the hint. And I'm going to kill Michel."

"Michel was concerned, which frankly, was what made me concerned. He said this went beyond the 'I'm annoyed that my ex-boyfriend won't go away' and was more like 'I'm afraid because my ex-boyfriend won't go away.' Did something happen with Jason last night? Did he do something to you?"

"I really don't want to talk about this now," she said, but her voice was starting to waver.

"Lorelai, this is starting to sound serious. Come in here and talk to me," Sookie said as she dragged Lorelai into her office. "Now tell me what happened."

"I had a nasty fight with Jason. He said some really awful things about me. Then this morning he sends me flowers as if that would make up for it." As she recalled last night's confrontation, Sookie could see that she was getting visibly upset. "It was just so ugly."

"Did something happen to make him angry? He didn't seem angry last night, just persistent." After a moment of silence, Sookie continued, "Lorelai, is there something I'm missing here?" Lorelai had turned away from her so Sookie put her hand on her shoulder and pulled her around to look her in the eye.

Lorelai glanced at Sookie and then looked down, "Luke kissed me."

"What? That's so exciting. You guys have been dancing around each other for years. I've always thought you two should be together. Wow! This is great, finally! How did it happen? I want details – Wait, what does this have to do with Jason?"

"He saw us."

"Oh, and he was jealous?"

"He was the green-eyed monster on crack. He went off about how now he knew the reason that I actually broke up with him and it wasn't about the lawsuit."

"He thought you were cheating on him with Luke?"

"Yes, and then he said I was only cared about the sex and pissing off my mother, but he actually loved me and Luke better not get too attached unless he was only interested in a roll in the hay. Then he said some things about Luke and how I only wanted him because my mom would hate him worse than Jason. Sookie, it was awful and Luke was there the whole time, listening to what he said."

"But Luke isn't going to care what Jason says. He's crazy about you. He has been for years."

"That may all change, now that Jason exposed the real me."

"What are you talking about? Are you crazy?"

"Am I not the queen of failed relationships? Maybe he's right, that I'm not capable of having a real relationship."

"That's ridiculous. You didn't fall for Jason because he's not your type. His first priority will always be his job and that's not good enough for you."

"But it's not just Jason. All my relationships are failures."

"That's because you haven't dated Luke yet."

"Sookie…"

"You like him as much as he likes you and because of that you'll never be happy with someone else."

"Is that Sookie Psych 101?"

"No, that's what been so obvious to everyone around you, except for you and Luke."

"It doesn't matter now. I'll never be able to face him and I don't think he wants me anyway. He cancelled our date for tonight."

"You had a date for tonight? Why didn't I know about this?"

"Well before, I wasn't actually sure it was a 'date' date, but then he brought me flowers and well, there was the kiss."

"So it is a date?"

"Was a date, he cancelled it."

"Did he say why?"

"He said he didn't think I would be up for it, but I think that he is just trying to get himself out of this whole mess."

"Or maybe trying to give you some space. Lorelai, have you talked to Luke about what happened?"

"No."

"No?"

"I can't look at him. When Jason started pressing me about what was going on, I was having a hard time figuring out what to say about Luke and he looked so hurt and angry. Then Jason said all those horrible things about me and about Luke. Sookie, I'm so ashamed."

"So you got into a screaming match with you ex-boyfriend while your potential new boyfriend looked on. You were really hurt and yet you haven't talked to or even looked at Luke since then? Lorelai, Luke probably thinks you are regretting kissing him and that's why you won't talk to him."

"How could he want to go out with me after what Jason said?"

"Because he's not an idiot. That doesn't sound like the issue anyway. Do you want to go out with him?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid of hurting him, like I hurt all guys I date."

Sookie groaned with frustration. Luke and Lorelai were finally getting together and Lorelai was managing to talk herself out of it before it even began. Why couldn't Lorelai see that Luke was different than anyone else she had dated?"

"Okay, let's try another tack here. Lorelai, the kiss, tell me about the kiss. Where, when, how? What happened?

"Well, here enters Jason again."

"What?"

"Well, Luke was talking to Jason and he said we were still together, that we were going through a 'rough patch.'"

"The nerve."

Well, Luke got angry and confronted me about it. He said he thought we were on the same page but then my boyfriend showed up and I was like, what boyfriend, we broke up. Then Luke said he'd never bought flowers for anyone and I told him I loved the flowers and he said at the wedding that there was a moment and I said yes there was a moment and then he kissed me."

"Was that when Jason saw you?"

"No, that was after the second kiss."

"There was a second kiss?" Sookie was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"After the first kiss, Luke just stood there looking at me like he couldn't believe what he had just done. He was just looking at me, waiting to see what I was going to do, and then I kissed him."

"You kissed him!" Now Sookie really was jumping up and down.

"We were about to kiss again when Jason saw us and well you know the rest."

"So how was it?"

"How was what?"

"The kiss, my god, the kiss!"

"It was amazing," she said softly, and Sookie could see sadness wash over her face as Lorelai thought about what she had potentially lost.


	4. Family

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** This is chapter four of what will be a six-part story. All hail the two snow days that are allowing me to put off grading papers by working on this.

* * *

**Family**

Luke passed the day at the diner in a daze. He couldn't stop thinking about the pain and sadness in Lorelai's eyes. Well, to be honest, she hadn't really let him see her eyes. She had been avoiding looking at him ever since the previous night. Luke wanted to believe that was a reaction to what Jason had said, but the pessimist in him was convinced that she was regretting the kiss and that's why she wouldn't look at him. Or talk to him. He had known there was a risk in making his feelings known to Lorelai. She would be afraid to ruin their friendship. She would be afraid to be in a relationship with someone who knew her so well. It was already going to be hard. Why did life always have to make everything that much more difficult? Lorelai might say that it was fate telling them that it wasn't meant to be. Today he was having a hard time coming up with arguments to the contrary.

* * *

_"You know, I think Europe sounds great. I think you would really enjoy that. I mean, remember -- we loved Paris. You don't have anything special planned for the summer, do you?"_

"_No, nothing special."_

"_Well, then? What do you say? Would you like to be impulsive with me?"_

"_Sure, Grandma, I'd love to."_

"Well I have to admit I was kind of hoping you would say that, so I had the travel agent hold a seat for you too."

"Wow, okay, so tonight?"

"Yes, do you think that you'll be able to manage?"

Lorelai suddenly realized that Rory had just made plans to leave for the summer and that she had encouraged it. What was she thinking? Did she really want Rory to leave? It would probably be a good idea for her to have some time away from Dean, but she still felt very unsettled about fighting with Rory.

Emily noticed Lorelai's expression and asked, "Lorelai, is everything alright? You don't look like yourself."

"Oh, who do I look like – Catherine Zeta-Jones? I've always wanted to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones."

"Don't be ridiculous. It was just a simple question. You seem distracted. Does this have anything to do with Jason? Did you get back together with him? Was that why he was at the inn last night? I was really surprised to see him there. I never liked that boy."

"No mom, I did not get back together with Jason and I really don't want to talk about this now."

"Then why was he there?"

"Apparently you did not hear the 'I don't want to talk about this right now.'"

"Will you just tell me why he was there? I'm assuming you wouldn't invite him knowing that your father and I would be there. I mean, you don't always take our concerns into account, but that seems beyond even you. You know he's suing your father."

"Of course I knew that. That's why I broke up with him."

Emily looked genuinely surprised. "That's why you broke up with him?"

"Yeah, what did you think?"

"I just figured it wasn't fun for you anymore now that the secret was out." Emily had intended it as a joke, but it came out more harshly than intended. Apparently their secret relationship had bothered her more than she had realized.

"Wow mom, you don't pull any punches, do you?" Lorelai joked, but Emily could see that the words had hurt her. She was trying to keep up her usual banter, but her composure seemed particularly fragile today.

"Well, what am I supposed to think when you always keep me in the dark?"

"As if you make it easy to share. I can't win with you. If I tell you things I get criticized. If I don't you get angry."

"Would you please tell me what happened with Jason?"

"He told me he was going to sue Dad, I asked him not to, but he said he had no choice. I told him I wasn't going to be with anyone who was suing my family." Lorelai looked at her mother and paused. Emily gave a small nod and she went on. "The thing was, he didn't even consider what I was saying to him. It was exactly the way that Dad treated me. I mean, I didn't expect either one of them to risk their careers for me, but they didn't even take me into consideration."

"And yet you were willing to give up your relationship out of loyalty to your father and me?"

"Don't give me that much credit. Mostly it made me realize that I didn't want to be with someone whose work is the most important part of his life."

Rory was watching this exchange with interest. It was so unusual for her mother to tell her grandmother anything about her life. It made her wonder even more what had happened in the last 24 hours.

"So what was he doing there last night?"

"Jason wanted to get back together. I said no. He wouldn't leave and I didn't want to make a scene during dinner. Later, when I tried to get him to leave, he made a huge scene and said some really nasty things about me.

"What could he possibly have said?"

"That I wasn't capable of having a real relationship. That I was just interested in sleeping with someone who would piss off my mother."

"What a horrible thing to say, especially coming from that obnoxious playboy."

Rory was starting to put two and two together and she said softly "and Luke was there."

Lorelai glared at Rory and then looked down.

"Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?" Emily asked, puzzled.

Loreleai didn't answer.

Rory looked briefly at her mother before saying, "Mom thinks that she might be dating Luke."

"Can you stay out of this?" Lorelai pleaded. "You have no idea what is going on."

"Because you won't tell me."

"Lorelai, what is this about you dating Luke?" Emily asked impatiently. "And what does she mean, might be dating? Isn't that something you generally know?"

"It's complicated."

"How complicated can it be? Did you have a date or not?"

"Well we went to his sister's wedding, but that was kind of a friend thing, at least I thought so, but we had a really good time."

"They danced," Rory interrupted with a teasing grin. "Apparently, Luke can waltz."

"Really?" Emily asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Rory!" Lorelai protested.

"What? Just filling in some details that you're leaving out."

"Just stop interrupting."

"Well, keep going then."

"I lost my train of thought with all the interrupting."

"You had a great time dancing at the wedding with Luke."

"Then he walked me home and asked me to the movies, which seemed more like a date, but still not definitive."

"This is the longest answer to a simple question that I have ever heard," Emily said. "Did you go to the movies or not?"

"Well, it was supposed to be tonight, but I don't think we are going."

"Why not? If you agreed to go you should go. This is just typical, Lorelai."

"Since when did you join the Luke fan club? I would've expected you to be horrified by my dating Luke."

"Is that why you agreed to go out with him?"

Lorelai suddenly looked as if she had been punched in the stomach and Emily realized what she had said. "God, mom no! How could you say that after Jason…"

"Your right, that was entirely inappropriate. Please forgive me."

Lorelai struggled to regain her composure and asked Rory jokingly, "Hey reporter, you have one of those little tape recorders on you? Maybe we can get her to repeat that."

"Lorelai, I really am sorry. Can you go on? Why are you canceling your plans with Luke?"

"I'm not canceling them!"

"But you just said…" Emily added.

"He cancelled them," Lorelai said quietly, not realizing how sad the expression on her face had just become."

Wait, are you serious?" Rory asked. "Luke canceled a date with you?"

"It does seem unlikely," Emily added.

"Well he said that he thought I might not be up to it, but I think that he just doesn't want to go anymore, especially after what Jason said."

"Do you still want to go?"

"I don't know. I can't really face him right now."

"You mean you haven't talked to him about it?" Rory jumped in.

"No, with the inn and everything it was just too crazy to talk this morning and then he had to go to the diner."

"Mom, you have to talk to him."

"You know what? I think that I have done enough sharing for today and you two need to do some serious packing if you are planning to leave tonight. Rory, you realize that it will take you a while to put together a set of travel clothing that will meet Emily Gilmore requirements. You have your work cut out for you."

Emily and Rory exchanged a glance, both realizing that the same time that they had gotten as much out of Lorelai as they were going to get for the time being.


	5. Uncertainty

**Disclaimer:** These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note:** This is chapter five of what will be a six-part story. This chapter is considerably longer than the other ones. I will be able to post chapter six tomorrow, because we have yet another snow day tomorrow. Thank god for snow!

* * *

**Uncertainty**

Luke was busy imagining a variety of ways to cause Jason's very painful death when the bell rang over the door to the diner. Luke looked up to see who was coming in during the mid afternoon lull. He was surprised to see Rory, who gave him a tentative smile.

"Hi, what can I get for you?"

"I actually came to talk to you," she said nervously. "I have something to ask you – actually two things. Do you have time?"

Luke gestured around the empty diner, "Plenty of time. What's up? Is everything alright?" He was wondering why she was here, and was suddenly concerned.

"Well the first thing is that I need to ask you a question. It's probably not my place to ask this because I don't know exactly what is going on, but since when has that ever stopped a Gilmore?"

"It certainly never stops your mother, "he said wryly.

At the mention of her mother, Rory looked at Luke and saw sadness and worry cross his face. "Luke, why did you cancel your date with my mom?"

"What? I didn't cancel our date."

"She says that you did."

"I told her it was okay if she wasn't up for it, after what happened last night. Did she talk to you about it?" He wanted desperately to know what she had said, how she was feeling, what she was thinking, but he tried not to ask too eagerly.

"A little, but why did you try to get out of the date?" asked Rory, making sure to keep the focus on the question at hand.

"I didn't want to get out of it. I was trying to give her space."

"Yes, but in Lorelai Gilmore speak that translates as he doesn't want to go out with me and he's trying to let me down easily."

"That isn't what I meant."

"I know that, at least now I do, but she still doesn't know that."

"You know, she won't look at me or talk to me, so in Luke Danes speak that translates as she doesn't want to go out with me, but doesn't want to say it." The firm set of his jaw showed how much it upset him to be cut off from Lorelai. Rory was struck by the painful look on his face. He was usually so stoic. As she was looking at him, he continued tentatively, "Rory, what did she tell you about last night?"

"Not much. She said Jason was trying to get her to back and when she wouldn't agree to get back together he said she wasn't capable of having a real relationship and only wanted to sleep with someone who would make my grandmother mad. You were there, right?"

Luke just nodded.

"She didn't tell me everything, did she? It was worse than what I just told you?"

"Yes, it was worse." Rory could see a flash of anger on his face as he remembered it.

"Well, now I am going to ask my second question. Actually, it's more of a favor."

"Anything, Rory."

"Well, I am leaving tonight to go to Europe with my grandmother. She and my grandfather are separated and she asked me to go with her."

"I'm sorry about your grandparents. So, you are leaving tonight? That's fast."

"Yeah, I know it is and I know it's not a great time, but my grandmother shouldn't be alone now. But I'm worried about my mom. I was wondering if you could sort of look out for her."

"I don't think she wants to talk to me."

"She can't face you after what Jason said last night."

"And so it's a good idea for me to look after her, why?"

"Because she is going to need you. Maybe it's not fair to ask you. I don't know exactly what is going on with you two, but it seems like there is more there than she's told me. All I know is that she is going to need you. Can you be there for her? I need to know before I leave if someone will be here for her."

"She would probably rather talk to Sookie."

"Maybe, but she is going to need you."

"I will try. In fact, I want nothing more than to talk to her, but I don't think she will talk to me."

"I know it is a lot to ask, but I would really appreciate it if you would try."

"I will do my best. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What is going on between you and your mom? She mentioned something about fighting and I can't believe she would let you go off to Europe in the middle of a fight."

"Believe it or not, she actually supported the idea."

Luke just looked completely baffled. He really couldn't imagine Lorelai thinking it was a good idea for Rory to take a trip with her mother. "What happened?"

"We had a horrible fight and both said things that - well I said things that I regret. It made her not want to talk to me about what happened with Jason."

"It doesn't sound like you to leave your mom in the middle of a fight." Luke looked at her questioningly and Rory had to look away.

"You're right, but there are some other reasons why it will be good for me to get away for a while."

"But you can't tell me those reasons?" Rory shook her head and Luke continued, "Well, have a good trip and take care of your grandmother."

"I will, and you take care of my mother."

"I'll do my best," he said, suddenly looking a little overwhelmed.

"Thank you," Rory said as she left the diner.

Luke tried to process what was happening. He wasn't sure how he could help Lorelai if she wouldn't talk to him. How could Rory leave in the middle of this? He tried hard to imagine a scenario that would require her needing to get away, and just couldn't come up with anything. On the other hand, Rory had said that she was upset about him 'canceling' their date. That was something, anyway. He allowed himself about 30 seconds of thinking about that before letting the pessimist take over again and remind him that she'd been avoiding him ever since their first kiss. Luke was about two minutes into the return of the pessimist when the phone rang.

"Hello, Luke's Diner. Can I help you? Liz? Calm down! What's going on? Slow down. Oh my god! Are you OK? Of course I'll come. It'll take me a little while to get things straightened out here, but I'll leave as soon as I can."

* * *

Lorelai drove home from Hartford in a funk. She and Rory were still not communicating very well and yet Rory was leaving for Europe in a few hours with none other than Emily Gilmore. Even though things were so unsettled between them, Lorelai dreaded a summer without her daughter. Rory had never been apart from her for more than a week at a time. She was suddenly feeling very alone. 

The fluster of preparations for the last minute trip had allowed her to push her thoughts about Luke and Jason to the back of her mind, but one of the last things that Rory had said before leaving was, "You need to talk to Luke. Promise me you'll talk to Luke." Lorelai had promised but since Rory hadn't been specific about a timeframe or subject, she felt she was safe putting off dealing with it for a while longer. She really wanted to think that his feelings hadn't changed, but she couldn't imagine him not hearing a bit of truth in Jason's words. After all, he had watched most of her relationships, begin and then eventually fail, so he was aware of her history in that respect. It just made her more and more aware how much his opinion of her mattered.

Lorelai pulled up to her house, looking forward to curling up on the couch under a blanket and falling asleep in front of the television. She was so focused on her mental and physical exhaustion that she didn't see Luke sitting on the front steps until she was halfway across the yard. She stopped and stared at him apprehensively.

"Luke," she started nervously, "what are you doing here?" Then a thought occurred to her and she asked, "Are you here for our date? Because I thought you cancelled that. At least it seemed like that. I mean, I'm not sure if that's what you meant -"

"Lorelai," Luke said to cut off her babbling, "first of all, I didn't cancel our date. At least, I didn't want to, but maybe it came off that way. I just thought you would want some time."

"I thought you didn't want to go."

"Well, I thought that you wouldn't want to go."

They just stared at each other for a moment, before Lorelai asked, "Why are you here?"

"I was looking for you to see if we could talk. I called the inn and Sookie told me that you were coming back here after dropping off Rory."

A look of fear crossed her face, "Luke, Not right now. So much has happened and I haven't had a chance to process it all, especially with everything going on with Rory and her trip with my mother. Oh and by the way, my parents are separated now. I mean I knew that they were having trouble, but it's official now. Dad's living in the pool house. So I can't really think about the rest of it right now."

"By the rest of it, you mean us?"

"Yeah, I just need time to process it." Luke couldn't help but hear that as time to talk herself out of being with him. He looked at her and her eyes were pleading.

"I'm really sorry about your parents and Rory. I can't really imagine what it must be like to have to handle all this stress at once. I really want to be here for you, "he stopped and took a deep breath, "but you're shutting me out."

"Luke, please not now."

"Okay, I won't push you on any of this right now and I won't make you talk to me, but can I just tell you a couple of things?" He looked up at her. She hadn't said yes, but she also hadn't said no. "Please?" he asked, calmly and softly. She then nodded very slightly and came to sit on the step with him.

"Okay, go ahead."

"Well, the first thing is about our date tonight. I'm sorry you thought I was trying to cancel on you. That wasn't what I meant at all. I still really want to take you out. I just meant that I was willing to wait until you were ready."

"Okay."

He could see that she was taking him seriously about him talking and her listening. He took a deep breath and said, "the other thing that I wanted you to know was that nothing that Jason said means anything to me. It doesn't change anything about how I feel about you. I know that it isn't possible to forget it, but it doesn't matter to me."

"But what if he was right?" she asked in a very small voice.

"Are you asking if I think he was right, or if it would change my opinion of you if it were?" he asked gently.

"Both I guess." She hesitated a second and then went on, "I guess this whole incident made me realize just how much your opinion matters to me, so I'm afraid about that, but also -"

She stopped and he said quietly, "What?"

"I think that he might have been right." She was talking so softly that he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly.

"Lorelai, no, he was just angry and bitter and throwing words around."

"But he was right about what he said about my mother, at least partially." She was looking down now, avoiding Luke's eyes. "What is kind of ironic about all of this is that he used that as a reason to go out with me the first time he asked."

"The first time?"

"Yeah, I went to yell at him about of all things, doing something to hurt my mother, and he asked me out. He said it would really piss off my mother."

"And you went out with him?"

"No, not then. It didn't seem right to date my Dad's business partner and I had some unpleasant memories of him from summer camp, so I said no."

"And he asked again?"

"Oh, Jason was nothing if not persistent. There were phone calls, flowers, candy… I was doing a pretty good job of resisting him for a while, but I was lonely, Rory was really busy at school, Sookie was busy with Davy, you got back together with Nicole, and my mother blamed me for my Dad having secret lunches with an ex-girlfriend, so I returned one of his calls and we went out."

Luke was stunned by the mention of he and Nicole, especially as a factor in her dating Jason. He tried not to react in an obvious way, but she wasn't looking at him and almost didn't seem to realize she had said it.

Lorelai continued, "We had fun together, but it didn't feel really serious. He did want to tell my parents, but I figured he was just worried about making them angry if they did find out."

"Why didn't you tell them?" Luke asked gently, curious, but not wanting to interrupt her now that she had finally opened up.

"I don't know, really. I tried a few times. Once, at a Friday dinner I was really planning to tell her and before I had a chance she started talking about how irresponsible Jason was and going off about all kinds of negative things and then ended by saying that we would be perfect for each other. Then when she saw that I was shocked, she started laughing. She couldn't stop laughing at the thought of the two of us together. I think that I could have handled a lecture or her being disappointed, but to have her laughing about it. I just couldn't deal with her laughing at my life like that. After that, it was just easier to hide it." Lorelai's voice had grown very sad and Luke couldn't help thinking how unfair it was that her parents didn't seem to be able to really see her for the amazing woman that she was. He couldn't imagine living with that kind of disappointment hanging over him.

"I just don't get where all of that anger came from. I don't think that I was leading him on. I don't understand how I could have hurt him so badly that he would say those kinds of things to me."

"Is that what you think? That he said those things because you hurt him?"

"Why else?"

"Because he was mad at himself for losing you, because he was a possessive jerk, or because he was jealous that you had moved on…" Luke trailed off, nervous about saying the last bit.

"Or he was upset because I was using him because I was lonely and he loved me."

"First of all, no one who truly loved you could have said what he did the other night. Second, you are not the first person to go out with someone, or even marry someone, because you were lonely." He looked right at her as he said this and continued, "Sometimes you do it without even realizing that's what is happening."

It took a moment for the full force of Luke's words to hit her. He was talking about he and Nicole. He was saying that he had gone out with her because he was lonely. "That's not the same thing. She hurt you."

He shrugged, "Yes, her sleeping with the Sock man hurt me, but I knew she did it because I wasn't invested in our relationship. My heart wasn't in it."

"You feel badly about hurting her," Lorelai said with surprise, "after what she did?"

"Almost as ridiculous as feeling bad about hurting someone who publicly tears you to shreds," answered Luke.

They were both quiet after that, trying to make sense of what each had confided in the other. Luke's hand brushed Lorelai's, and he held it softly, brushing his thumb across the back of her hand. She seemed surprised, but didn't pull away. They sat like that for another minute, quietly contemplative, then she looked up at him with a small smile, "Wow, how did you do that?"

"What?"

"You got me to totally spill my guts after I said I didn't want to talk."

"Maybe you really did and didn't know it."

"Well, thanks for listening."

"I'm just glad we're back to you looking at me. It hurt that you didn't want to talk to me."

"I was just ashamed about what Jason said. I couldn't imagine what you must think of me, so I was afraid to look at you."

"You don't strike me as someone who worries too much about what other people think of you."

"It matters to me what you think about me."

"Why?"

"It just does."

Luke was encouraged by her admission. He had been debating asking her another question and finally did, quietly, "Can we talk about what happened before Jason interrupted?"

He had been looking down when he asked the question, but looked up at the end. The fear had returned to her eyes and she tensed up and pulled her hand away. "I'm not ready to do that yet."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I always hurt people. I don't want to hurt you. If we do this, I want it to be for the right reasons. You said yourself that you don't always know reasons for being in a relationship. I just need to know that Jason wasn't right about you as well."

"Lorelai, I am a big boy. I can take care of myself and … I trust you."

"But I don't trust myself. Can I have a little more time to process this?" She could see that he looked hurt and angry, but was trying not to show it.

"This isn't just your way of backing away from us because you are scared, is it?"

"I really don't think it is."

"Okay," he said, conceding defeat, "I guess I don't really have any choice, do I?" His voice was bitter.

"Luke, don't do this. Give me a chance."

"I'm just worried that the chance I'm giving you is to run away before we even get started."

"I don't understand what the rush is. Why are you pushing me so hard?"

Luke got up from the steps and looked at her, "I need to go away for a while -"

"What? Why?" she asked with dismay.

"It's Liz. She and T.J. were in a car accident." Luke saw the look of concern on her face and went on, "They are going to be fine, but they both have a broken arm and leg and they need some help getting around. I need to go help them with their booth at the fair, so they don't lose their spot. I have to go, but I hate leaving now, with everything so uncertain." He waited for her to say something, anything to reassure him, but she didn't.

Lorelai wanted to say something to make the hurt look in his eyes go away, but she couldn't make promises she wasn't sure she could keep. When he saw that she wasn't going to say anything, he added, "I just feel badly because I promised Rory I would look out for you and now I'm leaving."

"Rory? When did you talk to Rory?"

"This afternoon. She came to talk to me and ask me to look out for you while she was in Europe."

"Why?" Lorelai stood up and walked a few steps past Luke, "Doesn't she think I can take care of myself? I can't believe she did that? What was she thinking?" The idea of Rory talking to Luke when she wouldn't even talk to Lorelai was pretty disturbing.

"That her mom was hurting and she felt guilty about leaving her when she was in pain."

Lorelai turned around and looked at him, surprised, "She said that?"

"Pretty much. Why are you surprised? She is your daughter."

"I know, but we had such a huge fight and she wouldn't talk to me." She paused and took a deep breath and said, "she told me she hated me. She's never said that before."

She looked so hurt that it reminded Luke about everything else she was going through. His expression and voice softened as he said, "That must have been what she meant when she said she regretted saying some things."

"Really? She said that?" Lorelai allowed herself a small smile.

"Lorelai, what happened between you two? I can't believe you'd let her leave in the middle of a fight, and with your mother of all people."

"I admit, not my first choice of circumstances, but given the situation, probably for the best."

"What situation?"

"I can't talk about it. Suffice it to say that it was very un-Rory like behavior and leave it at that." There was a finality in her voice that he knew wasn't worth arguing with.

"Okay." But it was clear he was not satisfied. "Well, I probably should get going, but I wanted to give you this," he said, handing her a small piece of paper. She opened it and saw an unfamiliar phone number.

"What is this?" She looked up to see him holding a cell phone and said, "You got a cell phone? I thought you hated them."

"Well, I kinda do, but I promised Rory. If you need anything, please call me," he paused, "and take care of yourself. I know that you have a lot on your plate." He looked down at that and took both of her hands, and squeezed them gently. "Just promise me something?" He looked at her and she nodded, "If you decide anything, please let me know? Don't make me wait until I get back?" She nodded again. He hesitated before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, then turning and heading back toward the diner, praying that he wasn't giving her too much opportunity to run away.


	6. Patience

**Disclaimer: **These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

**Author's Note: **This is the final chapter of this story. I want to thank all of the reviewers for your encouragement and the glorious snowy weather for allowing me to put off my grading and finish this. I hope you liked this spin on the season finale.

* * *

**Patience**

Luke was miserable. He was tired of the crazy costumes and weird way that people talked. He was tired of the unhealthy food and the middle ages and he couldn't get Lorelai out of his mind. The work at Liz's booth was too menial to occupy much of his brain, and for some reason, everything around here reminded him of Lorelai. He was surrounded by a playground for Lorelai's wit. There was nothing here without mocking potential. It made him smile to think of the fun they would have had if she were there. It would make this ridiculous place bearable.

He desperately wanted to call her. Just to say hello. He was supposed to be 'looking out for her,' after all. But if there was anything he knew about Lorelai it was that she ran when things got too overwhelming. She had asked for space and as much as he knew that might be her way of running away, he had to honor her request, at least for a while. But that was really the question, wasn't it? How long did he have to wait before a call would be taken just as a 'check-in and hello' and not as pressure to talk about what had happened between them?

* * *

Lorelai had spent the week immersed in the inn. It was her escape from everything she was avoiding thinking about. It was overwhelming and exciting and she couldn't wait for there to be real guests in the inn. The only thing that made her not able to fully appreciate it was that Rory and Luke were not here to see the official opening. She had spoken only briefly to Rory and though she admitted to herself that the trip would be good for her, it was still very hard to have her so far away during an unresolved fight. And Luke. At first it had been easy to keep him out of her mind for long stretches of time, but lately it seemed like everything reminded her of him. And now when she thought of him, it wasn't just about coffee, hamburgers, and conversation. Now her thoughts of him included the looks they had exchanged recently, the feeling of his hand holding hers, and the kisses. She reached into her pocket and touched the little piece of paper with the phone number on it. The phone number that she had memorized several days ago. At first it was enough just to touch the slip of paper and remind herself about the fact that he had done that for her, gotten a phone so that she could call him. Lately though, she had found herself picking up the phone and hesitating before putting it back. Because she was starting to realize that she missed Luke. A lot.

* * *

It was Saturday. A week ago the test run hadn't started yet, Jason was just some guy from Lorelai's past, and Luke was looking forward to a real date. And they had yet to kiss. He spent the whole day in an internal debate about whether or not to call. He had finished his dinner, if you could call it that, and was preparing for another lonely night, when the phone rang. He almost didn't recognize the sound. It had never rung before. Lorelai was the only one with the number. He just stared at it for a moment and then realized he better answer it because he had no idea how to retrieve voicemail. 

"Hello."

"Luke, it's Lorelai. How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Is this an okay time?"

Did she seriously think that it mattered whether it was a good time or not? "It's fine. It's really good to hear from you." He paused for a second, "I've been trying to decide whether to call you or not."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't know if you would want to talk to me. But then I did promise Rory I would look out for you, so one way or another, I was sure to screw something up."

Lorelai was touched by his concern. It was clear he had been debating this for a while, "Well, I guess I decided for you. It's really good to talk to you. You know, the inn is open for real now. We have actual guests."

"Congratulations. I'm really happy for you. How's it going?"

"Good, we managed to rehire enough of the kitchen staff that Michel scared away and we've got lots of reservations. How's the renaissance fair?"

"Well, it's kind of like being at Liz and T.J.'s wedding 24 hours a day, but without the good company," he said with a smile, remembering the night and especially their dance.

She blushed at his statement, "the wedding was really nice. That's when I found out you can dance," she teased.

"I was just thinking about dancing with you."

"Well, great minds think alike." There was an awkward silence, before Lorelai went on, "Hey, so there was a reason I called."

"Yeah?"

"I'm ready to talk, about us."

"Okay," he said tentatively. He had been hoping for and dreading this moment ever since he left Lorelai in her front yard last week. God, he wanted to be with her, but he dreaded hearing her say that she didn't want to be with him.

"Luke, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"I have something to tell you, but can I ask you something first?"

"Sure." Lorelai sighed, a little relieved. She knew what she had called to do and she was going to get there, but somehow it would be easier if she understood how he had gotten there himself.

She took a breath and asked, "What made you decide to ask me out now? I mean, we've known each other forever. Why now?"

He sighed, thinking, 'Where is she going with this? Why can't she just tell me what is on her mind?' "You remember that day that you gave me the tour of the inn?"

"Yeah, and Shel the chicken man."

"Yeah, then," he paused, thinking about his arm around her as she fended off Sookie's matchmaking. "We were talking about relationships. You had just broken up with Jason and I had just signed the divorce papers. You said something about Dr. Phil books in our future." He stopped for a second. Was he really going to admit to this? Certainly she was going to put two and two together at some point. Might as well get it over with. He didn't get a chance to finish.

"Oh my god, the book! I just made that connection! Is that what you meant? Are you seriously telling me that Luke Danes, town stoic, read a Dr. Phil book?"

He loved hearing the joyful, mocking tone in her voice. He had missed that Lorelai, the Lorelai who hadn't yet been taken down by Jason's words. "Yes, I read a Dr. Phil book," he admitted reluctantly, knowing he would never live it down.

"Was it useful or interesting? Oh my god, this has such mocking potential and I am totally not on the ball -"

"Lorelai," his voice stopped her mid-thought., and then he paused before continuing, "it helped me figure out what I wanted."

"Which was?"

"To be with you." It was as simple as that. He could hear her intake of breath on the other end of the phone. When she didn't say anything, he went on, "It also made me realize that I couldn't just wait around for something to happen, that I needed to do something."

"Were you scared?" This was really what she wanted to know. He seemed so sure. She needed to know how he had gotten so sure. She needed to know that he was as afraid of risking their friendship as she was.

"Yes," he said, thinking about the time he had spent debating whether or not to ask her out, the mental pro and con lists he made that just boiled down to: Con – she might say no and Pro – she might say yes.

"So how did you get over that? What made you ask me out?"

"I imagined you with another guy."

"What?" she asked, a little afraid of where this was going.

"I just mean that I knew that even though you had broken up with someone, there would eventually be someone new, or someone old, and I couldn't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. It made me realize that if I didn't ask you out when I did and someone else came along that I would regret it for a long time."

"Even if it risked our friendship?"

"Even then."

Lorelai's stomach clenched. He was sure. It was unnerving. "So that's all it took - imagining me with another guy, then you were sure?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" This was starting to sound a little creepy.

"I was afraid of ruining things, of you saying no, but I knew I needed to do something. So every time I was afraid of taking the next step I thought of you with someone else."

"What do you mean, every time?" Wow, he had been scared too, but he wanted her anyway.

"Lorelai, asking you out was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Right before I asked you to the wedding, I thought about you with Max and how you were going to marry him. Right before I asked you to dance, I thought about you with Christopher and right before I asked you to the movies, I remembered that fishing guy." At the mention of the fishing guy, Luke thought he heard a small chuckle. He went on. The last admission was the hardest, "And right before I kissed you, I imagined you getting back together with Jason." His voice was soft when he finished. She could tell it had been hard for him to say that.

"So that's what made you sure it was right? Thinking about me with other guys?"

Actually, imagining how I would feel if I saw you with another guy," his voice was raw now, his emotions exposed. Damn, he wished that they could have had this conversation in person. He wanted to see her, be able to look her in the eye while telling her this.

Lorelai was relieved to be having this conversation over the phone. She didn't think she could have looked at Luke and seen in his eyes the emotion that she could hear in his voice. She was quiet thinking about it.

Finally Luke broke the silence, "Lorelai, are you still there? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about how sure you are."

"And it freaks you out?"

"A little. I want to be that sure, but I'm worried about screwing up what we already have."

"Just because I am sure I want to be with you doesn't mean that I'm not scared too."

Lorelai wasn't sure why, but somehow that made her feel better. If he could be scared and do this, maybe she could too. It was why she had called after all. She used Luke's trick and remembered the day he had told her he was married, and the relief when she found out he was getting divorced. She then remembered the day she had walked into the diner and seen Nicole, the day she found out that they had gotten back together. Okay, she could do this. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking this week and a lot of it has been about you." He smiled hearing this, but didn't dare interrupt. "The thought of you and me together really scares me. But what I realized this week is that even though it scares me, I want it. I want to be with you. That part I'm sure about. The rest of it scares me…" she trailed off, then asked, "Luke, you're still there, right?"

"I'm here, I was just making sure I was hearing you right. I was, right?"

"What? Are you going to make me say all that again?"

"I wouldn't get tired of hearing it." Lorelai smiled at the sweetness in his voice.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you last week. It's just that Jason made me question everything. I needed to know that I wanted this for the right reasons. I needed to know that this was different. And, I needed a little help with the being scared part."

"So did it work for you?" he asked jokingly.

"What?"

"Imagining me with another guy?"

"Nah, you and Brad Pitt weren't doing anything for me, so I had to go back to the feeling in my stomach when I found out you got back together with Nicole." Had she really just said that? Man, this phone thing was dangerous. It was too easy to say things that were hard to say in person. But maybe that was a good thing, at least now.

"Oh," he didn't know how to respond to that. Had he really been having an effect on her that long ago? Then he realized that he had known at the time that it bothered her, and she had probably known it too. It was just significant that she was admitting it now. "So what made you sure now?"

"I missed you."

"So that's it, all I needed was to go away?"

"Having you go away made me realize what was different about you. Jason used to travel and I would miss him when he was gone. I would be lonely and bored and spend more time with Rory or working on the inn. I missed having someone around. When you left I missed _you_."

It sounded like she was trying to tell him something significant, but he was confused, "I don't get it. How is that different?"

"I'm not missing you because I am lonely or bored. I miss seeing _you_. You are a part of my life and when you are not here I don't feel quite whole. It probably doesn't help that Rory is gone too, but I really miss seeing your smile, arguing about coffee and donuts and…"

"What?"

"I really, really want to kiss you again."

"Okay," he said with a wide grin. "I'm good with that. Any reason you couldn't have realized that before I left for the summer vacation from hell?"

"Well you are coming home at some point, right?"

"Not soon enough. So, you miss me huh?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"I am really glad you got a cell-phone."

"You have no idea."


End file.
